Man’s Reason for Dumping Hinge Match Minutes Into Second Date Backed

A Reddit user’s decision to abruptly end a date after witnessing what he considered disrespectful behavior has sparked debate online.

The incident, shared on the platform by user u/idontunittest1 on December 1, involved picking up his Hinge match from an address different from her home.

As she approached his car, the man noticed another individual giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which she later admitted was someone she had just been on a date with.

“I told her that’s a bit disrespectful to have me pick her up like this, and she said it shouldn’t bother me because we’re not in a relationship,” said the Reddit user, who was on a second date with the woman.

He then asked her to leave his car and drove home, sharing his experience online to seek further opinion. The post quickly gained traction, with many commenters supporting his decision.

“I met the girl on Hinge, she is 26 and lives in Austin, Texas,” the man, 28, who also lives in Texas, told Newsweek. “We went on our first date to a small ramen shop and talked and had a great time; on the first date, we made our intentions clear.

“We were both looking for a long-term relationship, but when it was time for our second date, instead of me picking her up from her house again, she asked me to pick me up from a random location.”

When the man arrived at the agreed location, he noticed the woman and a man standing outside together.

“When they said their goodbyes, he gave her a kiss on the cheek,” he said. “I said that it’s a little disrespectful for me to pick you up like this. She then said that I should not be upset because we are not in a relationship.

“I told her to kindly leave my car and I drove home.”

Ksenia Droben, a professional matchmaker, says that the situation highlights an important tension in early-stage dating.

“When a girl expresses her desire for a serious relationship, she automatically increases her value in his eyes and sets certain moral principles,” Droben told Newsweek. “This means a man has the right to expect behavior from her that implies mutual respect and certain moral principles.”

Droben emphasized that, while exclusivity is not expected at the second-date stage, tact and respect are still crucial.

“The girl behaved tactlessly,” she added. “When we talk about ‘serious relationships,’ it means respecting all candidates—not passing from one hand to the other like a ball in volleyball.”

She says that transitioning immediately from one date to another can create confusion and hurt feelings, even if no formal commitment has been made.

“The correct, respectful behavior for a girl would be to calmly finish the date with the first gentleman, take a break, and then go out on another date,” Droben said.

The incident resonated widely on Reddit, where users voiced their opinions about dating etiquette and shared similar experiences. Many sided with the original poster, implying that her actions contradicted her stated desire for a long-term relationship.

“I’m trying so hard to imagine what kind of look a woman has on her face when she tells her date he’s just picked her up from another date. OP [original poster], please describe, because this is wild,” one viewer said.

Another added: “I had a girl one time tell me all about some date she was just on and couldn’t wait to go on a second date with him. All while we haven’t even gone on our first date. Like, cool. I don’t expect you to not be talking to other people when we’re still in the talking phase but I don’t care to hear about it.”

“Lol in college I, (F [female]) met a girl on Tinder and went to her house to hang out for the first time. After like 2 hours she says she is getting picked up by a guy to go on a date with him… Like, walked out with me and then immediately got into this dude’s truck. Safe to say I did not talk to or hang out with her again,” a third commenter said.

“On the one hand, the couple are not in a relationship, and the man is not in love with the girl,” Droben said. “But there should still be respect and tact towards each other.”

“My advice to others? Set your boundaries early and make sure your actions align with your intentions because respect goes both ways.”

Update: This story was updated on 12/05/2024 at 08:29 ET with comment from u/idontunittest1.

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