‘I actually know every one of these guys’: Woman with a dating history from hell reveals all the biggest red flags for older men

Better than learning from one’s mistakes is, arguably, learning from other people’s mistakes so you can prevent going through them yourself. If you are looking to date “older men,” or “men over 40 years old,” @pastperfectwithyaya may have the perfect TikTok for you to refer to in order to avoid getting stuck with a man who suffers from one of these “deadbeatisms.”

We all have red flags that we are prone to immediately spotting as soon as they reveal themselves. Judging by her over-3-minute-long list, Yaya has met and been around her fair share of walking red flags.

Some of us, when we think of warning signs that we’re dealing with a toxic date or partner, we would go to examples like: “still has a dating app installed on their phone and keeps postponing uninstalling it,” or “constantly distrusts your word because they suffer from Othello syndrome,” or “tries to micro-manage things about your life, like how you dress or who you hang out with.” On the other hand, Yaya’s list of “deadbeatisms” is quite unique, meaning, we don’t often hear people talking about these traits but that does not mean that they are not out there and that we shouldn’t look out for them.

Yaya’s epic list of “deadbeatisms”

It’s not just Yaya’s words and explanations that hammer her points in, it’s also her tone and inflection, as if she’s vividly visualizing each and every deadbeat archetype she enumerates. We should all feel sympathetic if she’s had to endure even a single date with half of these glaringly bright red flags

Her list touches on quite distinct points: from being too stuck in the past and adamant in not dressing like one’s age (instead of like one’s teenage son), to men who are unable to lift a finger to help with house chores because “he’s still trying to prove to women he’s not the one.”

“As a man… I co-sign all of these.” one netizen commented, “I actually know every one of these guys,😮‍💨”

Even if we have not dated any of these types of disagreeable men – we may still not be at an age to be actively seeking “men over 40” as romantic partners – we must have glimpsed at least a few of these in our daily lives or even from examples that can be found online, such as this one:

The man in the video above would fit perfectly in Yaya’s list. Here is a middle-aged male specimen in his natural habitat –on the phone with his mom while the spouse is away. This “momma’s boy” was never actually looking for a wife but for a second mother or, at the very least, a full-time maid who’s also unpaid and with whom he can enjoy the other benefits of marriage without having to bother to act as a mature and responsible partner.

As Dustin Poynter – aka the incredibly awesome “Flag Guy” – points out in the video, this man’s wife has a full-time job, therefore, she has no responsibility to be a housework slave other than the one that is unfairly imposed by misogynistic preconceptions and socially-construed stereotypes. You’re probably not husband of the year if you expect your wife to do 95% of the housework while you blissfully play video games on your brand-new PS5.

For some women, all of these sad examples might well expose further reasons why adhering to the 4b movement may sound incredibly tempting right about now.