‘He’s clocked in and working’: Bunny with a sense for business ditches the burrows to forge a brand-new career as a cashier

There’s no sugarcoating it, folks; the job market out there is pretty dire. The American Dream may be unwavering in its insistence that any hardworking bunny can feed a family of 12 if he puts his nose to the grindstone, but at the end of the day, it’s hard to make it in this world if your name isn’t Bugs or Easter.

And yet, every now and again, we catch wind of a success story that singlehandedly reignites hope in the proletariat Lepus population all over again. Would our time and attention be better spent dismantling the system that barricades these bunnies from a thriving career in the first place? Yes, probably, but TikTok‘s job is to thrust dopamine into our systems, thank you very much.

Captured by ViralHog’s @Kero Kero Galaxy and distributed by @pubity, this 16-second documentary tells the tale of Sir Nibble Hoppington II, whose parents emigrated to America after a poorly-timed reading of Watership Down made them too paranoid for their own good. Adrift in a new country, Nibble’s fortune turned around when he found himself among a nest of rescue bunnies that caught the eye of one ambitious shop owner.

Today, Nibble leads the charge at his new owner’s shop as the haughtiest, most efficient cashier in the business, gingerly picking out the correct amount of change before quite ferociously placing it in the hand of the customer, doing the same thing with the merchandise bag shortly after. He’s had this job for many years and he does it perfectly, and while he’s not completely sold on the current wage laws for rabbits, it seems he’s happy to accept ear scratches and fur strokes as supplementary compensation for the time being.

You know good and well that I don’t need to tell you what the comments section thought of this particular development. Indeed, this blue collar bunny is the internet’s new hero in every sense of the word; he’s valid for being a complete diva in the money handoff, he deserves the wage increase of a lifetime, and if there’s not a promotion in his future, the inevitable international backlash may force this merchant to close shop for good.

The main takeaway, though, is that there is a bunny helping his owner improve their customers’ shopping experience by several orders of magnitude, and that unadulterated delight is the sort of thing you can only find in small businesses, which are perhaps the lone bright spot in this capitalist hellscape we find ourselves in. According to luisazhou.com, there are currently over 33.3 million small businesses in the U.S. and 400 million globally, and they’re the source of 1.5 million new jobs in the U.S. every year. Most consider small businesses to be any business with fewer than 250 employees, though the majority of businesses in the United States number fewer than five.

So the next time you venture out for a grocery run or retail therapy, consider contributing to the light side of the Force by shopping at small businesses instead of major chain stores, because you may just be helping a good, honest, American rabbit put food on the table for his kits back home.